


Dirty Paws

by Cerisa



Category: Heroes of Olympus - Fandom, House of Hades - Fandom, Percy Jackson and the Olympians
Genre: Other, PTSD, Self Harm, Tartarus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-19
Updated: 2013-11-19
Packaged: 2018-01-02 02:56:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1051699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerisa/pseuds/Cerisa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A chronicle of Nico's daily rituals, starting with how he copes with the memories of Tartarus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dirty Paws

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM, GRATUITOUS DEPICTIONS OF TARTARUS & VIOLENCE. Please, be careful.

_As he stumbled, Nico felt his skin crawling again, blisters forming, skin cracking, sinew and muscle unwinding. His throat was itching uncontrollably, like strep throat left untreated magnified by untold numbers, and his tongue felt puffy and hot and dry in his mouth. His leaden limbs ached from the strain of the dark magic infused into the air._

_It was as if all of the liquid in his body had dried up, leaving behind an empty, hard husk that was about to crumble under the pressure of this horrible new world._

_He could feel himself falling apart. He began to shake as darkness converged in front of him; dark and demonic shapes forming from inky black mists in the dark pits at the edge of his consciousness. The air crackled like just before a major lightning storm, charged with electricity. He could taste it on his tongue._

_Something was coming._

_The stinging pungency of sulfur assaulted his senses, and he coughed again and again. And the ground. Oh gods, the ground was pulsing, as if it were a giant, beating heart. Blue, lined with hideous green veins and… the rotting, half formed shapes of grotesque ghouls which festered in the ground._

_How was he ever going to survive this?_

_They were emitting the poisonous fumes. The back of his throat was itching, burning, and then Nico’s stomach heaved involuntarily, forcing rancid blood through his mouth, his nose, his eyes._ _  
_

_A scream tore through his throat, and the son of Hades found himself choking again, unable to breathe. The crawling sensations intensified, like fire running through his veins._

_The last thing he remembered thinking was, “I’ve failed you, Percy.”_

—

He lived for these moments, every single day. When he would slip off his clothes, and let the water run down his arms and neck, his back, let everything overwhelm him. Everything but his thoughts. When he would carve his release out into the supple, vulnerable, worn shell of his skin. When he would escape from everyone, everything.

Especially  _that place._

Nico gripped the razor tightly, tears dripping down his face. He began etching four burning, precisely straight lines onto his forearm. Watching little ruby snakes slid down his arm, he leaned back against the end wall of the tub. The gently sloping porcelain cushioned his back, warm with condensation from the hot water streaming out from the faucet by his feet. The pink water around him felt warm, caressing his bare thighs like so many feathers massaging him, comforting him. 

He let out a sigh of relief as the pain overtook him, drowning out the painful buzz of his thoughts. 

_Free, at last._

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry. 
> 
> Find me on tumblr @voguedemigod


End file.
